Food

When that person you thought you could die for ups and leaves you, and now you really feel like dying but would prefer to stick it out just to show her up, there is really nothing you can do but move on. You can’t stay down on the ground forever.

One way to get back on your feet is to treat yourself right, perhaps even lavishly. Try eating out at fancier, more extravagant restaurants. Order an appetizer AND a soup. Then a huge kobe steak dish, or deep-fried catfish, or chicken cordon blue, or exotic, near-extinct seabass. Then don’t be afraid to indulge in dessert. Two even. Let yourself savor the tastes and flavors that this wonderful planet of ours has to offer. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself right, gastronomically speaking.

Eating well, and in large amounts, will give you an appreciation for the simple enjoyments that life has to offer. You’ll lose yourself, and any memory of her and your former need to be lean and svelte, in deep-fried heaven. Plus, when you’re 375 pounds you won’t have to worry about another vixen coming along and breaking your heart all over again. They’ll take one look at your behemoth belly and bountiful man-boobs and keep strutting along to the next chump.

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~ by artofstarving on July 29, 2010.

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